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March 06
Edition

Pages in PDF

Regular
Features

› The Fat Lady
  Sings - the
  Editor's
  comment
  with
  JoAnn Pacholli

› In Tents Thawts
  with Mick Pacholli

› Sid's
  Comments
  with Sidney
  Somerville-Smith

› The Lie
  Detector
  with Mitchell
   Faircloth

› Fab's Ravings

› Technology
  with Chris Jacobs

› People's Views

› Are You
  Puzzled?
  with
  Narelle Stegehuis

› Family Issues
  with
  Marilyn Brideson

› Gallery Gazing

› Planet Clare

› Lovatts
  Crossword

› Social Scene
  with Ken James

› Live Theatre
  with Blair Edgar

› Movie Scene
  with
  Charlie Alexander

› Entertainment
  with Gary Turner

› Grazing in the
  Suburbs
  with Mick Pacholli

› Grazing in the
  Suburbs
  with Mark Heenan

› Fab's Travel

› Talking Manure
  with Mick Pacholli

› Furry Friends
  with
  Dr Graeme Smith

› Racing
  with Ted Ryan

› Rant & Rave
  with
  Paddles Hackett

› Bowls
  with Mick Pacholli

› Motoring
  with Garry Fabian

› Short Cuts
  Writers
  Competition

Mandatory Reporting, Love & Responsibility

I cannot begin to express my grief and depression at hearing about a defenceless human being (a wife, mother and grandmother) who, together with a number of other poor souls, was repeatedly sexually abused in an aged care facility in Melbourne.

I heard this woman’s grandchild speak about the way that her grandmother had lived with grace and pride, how she had raised her family alone and how she had died after being repeatedly sexually abused while living in a foetal state due to her dementia.

My maternal grandmother lived out the last days of her life in a nursing home in Sydney. Her family was scattered around Australia and her beloved youngest daughter, the only one left living in Sydney, had a very young family and could not physically care for Nan due to her physical infirmities. The thought of Nan, who even at the end had a mind like a steel trap, being abused in the place where she lived and should have been safe is horrific.

Both of my parents died relatively young (in their late sixties and middle seventies) and in control of their lives except for the cancers that invaded their bodies. Despite their horrible illnesses and extreme pain, in accordance with their wishes, they were nursed and died at home in the care of their families.

Loss of a parent is extremely painful but I suppose that, in some ways, I have been fortunate that my parents both succumbed relatively quickly to their illnesses. I did not have to endure the loss of a parent through mental disintegration or the difficulties faced with caring for someone for a very, very long time that required constant supervision and/or medical attention.

However I do not know when we, as a society, assumed that it was our right to have our children in child care and our parents in aged care and that our federal, state and local governments had the positive responsibility to make sure that our needs in child and aged care were always met.

Why does Australian society believe that it is our God-given right to delegate some of our most critical familial responsibilities to commercial ventures for which those governments should pay, regulate, monitor and assume ultimate responsibility? Why do we generally need governments to provide the basic needs of our young and aged loved ones?

I know some put it all down to the disintegration of family because of the rabid, hairy-legged feminist movement. I think that the larger responsibility for the changes in the way we care for the most vulnerable in our society have more to do with the changes that have occurred in our society due to economic prosperity since the last World War.

We want more, therefore we need more, therefore we expect more. For the exorbitant taxes we pay to our governments, we expect services in return – not just roads, rail etc but personal services which were once the domain of the family unit.

Whether wealthy or modestly comfortable, we are on an economic treadmill which requires all of our time to keep our lifestyles up to our increasing expectations. For me, it is a no-brainer that the poor in our society should be able to look to government for assistance.

Somehow, regardless of wealth or even personal circumstances, we all expect governments to bear the principal responsibility for our loved ones if they place demands on our lifestyles or our ambitions.

Not wishing to judge another too harshly when it comes to deciding the best care for their older family members, I do believe that generally we, as a society, all too readily place our older people in environments where we expect others to keep them healthy and safe. Having found a placement in a home, we expect that others will look after them as if they were their own. But they are not their own, they are usually an economic, nursing or some other type of statistic; they are only a job, a source of income or a departmental responsibility.

I do not hold myself out to be someone who has the answers to the imponderable situations facing many of us when it comes to placing our older family members in care. I do believe that wherever possible we should not allow our loved ones to become sucked into what has become the massive industry of aged care.
We all have parents. When parents have children, they make monumental changes to their lives to accommodate their children. Those children should know that their parents will more than likely live to be old or infirm.

Children should always plan to care for their parents in their later years because it is our responsibility as a human being to do so. It should be our priority as individuals that when we make plans for our own lives, we also plan to personally care for our own as best we can rather than just plan that our aged parents will be cared for in nursing homes. Governments should support us in these plans.

Respectfully, Jo Ann Pacholli

the fat lady sings by JoAnn Pacholli

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